I enjoyed staring at the fuzzy waters of the swimming pool for like 3 hours last night. The rest of my time was spent taking care of my baby brother and fooling around with my baby cousin, Levin. For a while, I thought I was just hallucinating. Night swimming. Bright lights. Videokes. Discos. Chlorine. Menstrual cramps. The map of the Philippines in my head [I had an exam the next morning which was this morning]. The eerie text message. The terror of my coming birthday.

I almost asked for the blue moon to keep me sane.

*

You're texting me after three years? You're keeping in touch with me after three years? You're asking if I still know you after three years? You're asking me if I'm surprised that you suddenly popped out after three years?

Have you already forgotten that the last time we had any form of communication was also after three years?

And why on earth have you suddenly appeared in my life again if you're not going to even bother answering my messages? It pains me to think that that only message that you've given me would remain in my inbox for as long as it's possible. Talk about pathetic fossils. Besides, I myself already feel like I'm being fossilized alive.


Do I have to start counting the years again?

as wet as the sheets

But I hushed and inhaled the air around me that was your breath.










I thought you were gone.

some favorite hothothot song.

We've been together for so very long
But now things are changing, oh I wonder what's wrong?
Seems you don't want me around
The passion is gone and the flame's died down


I guess I lost a little bit of self-esteem
That time that you made it with the whole hockey team
You used to think I was nice
Now you tell all your friends that I'm the Anti-Christ


Oh, why did you disconnect the breaks in my car
That kind of thing is hard to ignore
Got a funny feeling you don't love me anymore


I knew that we were having problems when
You put those piranhas in my bathtub again
You're still the light of my life
Oh darling, I'm beggin', won't you put down that knife?


You know, I even think it's kinda cute the way
You poison my coffee just a little each day
I still remember the way that you laughed
When you pushed me down that elevator shaft


Oh, if you don't mind me asking, what's this poisonous cobra
Doing in my underwear drawer?
Sometime I get to thinking you don't love me any more


You slammed my face down on the barbecue grill
Now my scars are all healing, but my heart never will
You set my house on fire
You pulled out my chest hairs with an old pair of pliers


Oh, you think that I'm ugly and you say that I'm cheap
You shaved off my eyebrows while I was asleep
You drilled a hole in my head
Then you dumped me in a drainage ditch and left me for dead


Oh, you know this really isn't like you at all
You never acted this way before
Honey, something tells me you don't love me any more, oh no no
Got a funny feeling you don't love me anymore



You Don't Love Me Anymore
WEIRD AL YANKOVIC

this is what I learned

Life is not really fair. Sometimes we get what we don't deserve and other times we do not get what we deserve.

too much heaven

Nobody gets too much heaven no more
It's much harder to come by
I'm waiting in line
Nobody gets too much love anymore
It's as high as a mountain
And harder to climb

*

A grey car stopped by in the middle of the road. I lifted my head from the dirty ice cream that I was currently engrossed with. Then a head popped out from the window of the car - coming from the backseat. Some unknown guy smiled at me as he pouted his mouth as if to say "mwah". Then the head came back from where it came from. The car flew again towards the distance. I couldn't feel more sorry because my ice cream melted.

*

I like you. That was the title of his message to me. He who I've not known since the last time I was reincarnated and he who I am not planning to know anymore. Not at all. Not in this lifetime. Not even in the next. Non even in the following eternity. I opened the silly message and there I found out more unbelievably-silly-I-like-you-stuffs. My eyeballs zoomed in and out of each and every silly lines. I sort of felt dizzy. I wanted to puke.


Ugh. Bored people and boring nights like this.
You know, not everybody wants to fall in love everytime.





and then this Beegees song kept playing in my head. . .

I'll miss you

. . . need I say more?

something stupid

Just let me be me. Just don't bother. Just let me watch you become who you are. Just let me worship you using nothing but my eyes. Just let me delve into every part of you.

Bit
by
bit.


You're too much to be taken all at the same time.

no escape.

I want you to stay with me.
But honey, you’re lost.
And so are you.
You’re lost since the moment you decided you want to come with me.
Didn’t you think about that along the way?
I haven’t got a clue.
Your arms have held me so long for me to even think of letting go.

QC at night

These street lights have this certain power of mesmerizing me. I just couldn’t help but stare. These spacious roads seem like they’re never going to end. Even the night sky seems like it stretches on forever. The trucks and the jeepneys sweep the highway like there’s no tomorrow. Everybody’s rushing. Everything’s flowing. I could feel the evening breeze kissing me on the forehead. These soft lips. I could hear laughter just across the street. I could smell the nostalgia of the city as it bides time goodbye. There are hands holding in the sidewalks. There are shadows swaying behind the painted walls. I could touch the skin of the city. I could feel its heart throbbing.


Watching the city gracefully undress in front of me is just ... wow.
I've never seen it this heavenly before.

you know you don't

But I’m in so deep
You know I’m such a fool for you
You got me wrapped around your finger
Do you have to let it linger?
Do you have to, do you have to
Do you have to let it linger?






Linger: Cranberries